Finding your ‘me’ time
The one thing that I miss the most from my pre-child days was having so much free time. I remember loitering around town doing nothing in particular. Spending hours just sitting and thinking, singing and contemplating life’s philosophies. I loved watching the rain and sipping on my hot cup of tea and doing nothing at all. I have spent days traveling to new cities, neighborhoods and just exploring, reading, writing, drawing and really experiencing all that was there to experience. I loved being on my own. But for the past 3 years, life has become clockwork. There is no time to loose and no experiences to gain. And the one thing that makes me loose my mind, is not being able to spend some time by myself.
What is working so far
Even though I don’t get to spend days and hours by myself anymore, I do try to use the first 2 and the last 1 hour of my day alone. I don’t necessarily day dream in that time. In fact, quite the opposite. But I do enjoy a walk and my first cup of coffee on my own. Whenever possible, I sneak in 30 mins for an afternoon cuppa just before my son wakes up from his nap. It’s probably not much, but it definitely helps to clear out my mind and get me prepared for another few hours of madness.
Tipping Points and Hindsight
Of course there are days when I don’t even get a minute to myself. Those days are tough. But I do remind myself every now and then that soon this crisis will be over and we will all return to work. My daily 3 hr work commute will resume and that’s when I will truly miss being home. Right now, at least I can spend those 3 hrs not concentrating on the road. I can sit or walk comfortably around my house. In the distant future, my son will grow up freeing up some of my time but then I may not know what to do with it. I think of all this, and gladly acknowledge the fact that I will never be 20 again and embrace what I have for now.